‘The knock on the door signaled, he was back home, at the door. As she ran to open the door, her face lit with a bright smile. She unlocked the door and leaped towards him, “Papa!”, she said. Exhausted after a long day at work, he couldn’t help but smile and take his daughter in his arms. ‘
‘The 10 o’clock alarm woke her up. It was a Saturday, and her friend would be at her place any moment now. “Damn, why don’t I wake up on time!”, she thought. She and her friend were going to study Math together as a series of Math tests awaited them next week in school. The bell rings, and she knew it was her friend. Math was just an excuse, they actually confided in each other, the entire week’s stress.’
Why do we need people who make us happy? Why rely on people?
Why do we need people we can confide into? Why confide in people?
Why do we need people who are our escape from the world? Why make people our escape?
Why can’t you make you enough for yourself?
What happens when you’re in a country, a city, a place where you have no one to confide in? When, you want to talk to someone, but your blabber is not entertained? When you want to listen to someone speak, but you aren’t considered worthy enough?
That’s when you learn to be self sufficient.
That’s when you put on your earphones and sit on a couch and think about the happenings and the people in your life.
That’s when you leave your apartment, sit on a bench on the road and do just nothing, contemplating and perceiving the world around you.
That’s when you need the wind to blow your hair, the raindrops to make sound when they splash on the ground.
That’s when you learn the eternity of nature and the mortality of people.
Because that’s when you wish you had someone sitting beside you, your bestfriend, your dad, or anyone you can pour out your heart to, someone who wouldn’t judge you for who you are. Someone who’ll tell you there’s goodness in the world and not all people are self-centered. Someone, who would help you judge the new people in your life, and tell you who’s right and who’s wrong for you.
Perhaps, that’s the reason my mom can go on days without pouring her heart out to anyone,
My dad can smile when he looks at me after coming back from work, and forget all the complexities in his life,
My grandmother can manage a family of twelve, without ever complaining.
Perhaps, that is what is there in this journey to learn. To be your own bestfriend?
Can you confide in your own self?
Can you be your own rescue when the world has closed it’s doors on you?
To be the happiest when you have your own company.
-Learning to keep things within, to be the listener when I speak, and the speaker when I listen,
Learning to not need people in my life.
Learning, that if one unfortunate day, every single soul abandons me, I’ll be there for myself,
Learning to not belong to people, and belong to myself.
Because, Life Is After All Beautiful.